But this gem from Miller Lite never quite found its groove. How to Measure Remaining Sunlight With Your Hands, What Every Man Should Know About Having a Heart Attack. I just smiled. Pete Rose is back for another regrettable commercial, this time with the heinous-smelling men's cologne Aqua Velva. Im personally a fan of it. Ill be honest, I used to turn up my nose at these colognes and aftershaves too. Gillettes green and blue goo aftershaves seem to sell well, as do the notorious and infamous Axe body sprays. Yeah, we know: Aqua Velva is your dads (or your grandpas) aftershave. The guys then celebrate the win and thank their delicious beer for the assist, all while the "fat lady" sings in the background. Without a celebrity endorsement, how good could they be? Bruts trademark plastic green (and, lets be honest, kind of phallic) bottle with its silver logo has graced the medicine cabinets of millions of men across the world. All local car dealership commercials have to pay homage to this "gem" starring Pittsburgh Penguins great Mario Lemieux. Ending this list without another Pete Rose commercial in it would be criminal at this stage in the game. It's all thanks to a weird product called Spark, of course. Can't you picture millions of kids telling their parents that in the '80s? Youd think smelling like rubbingalcoholwould be a bad thing, but somehow Pinaud Clubman makes it work. In 1923, the advertising tagline was Your Strongest Suit A Face Thats Fit! Football player Broadway Joe Namath took part in a series of TV and print ads for Brut in the 1970s. Every time I stroll down the mens grooming aisle at my local drugstore to pick up somedeodorant or Brylcreem, I cant help butnotice the shelves of colognes and aftershaves. B. Williams Company Records, 1853-1956, 2014. But this isnt the stuff Pete Rose used to sing about in those classic 70s TV commercials. Finch Tundgren: Aqua Velva, covers up the smell of horse sweat and sin. Ogden is surrounded by a bunch of women dressed like Sheryl Crowcirca 1997who dance around him to an insufferable jingle. Chances are your grandpa probably wore the stuff. A female reporter is seen asking Pete questions. Dont use Hai Karate without memorizing these self-defense moves. Even with the tweaking, this is still a solid, timeless, and manly fragrance. The aftershave of choice of my grandfather, William Hurst, and my own favorite drugstore classic. This particularly awful one was with Toyota. The smell is initially potent, but fades to a pleasant manly oakmoss smell very quickly. 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After their playing careers were complete, the greatest brotherly duo in the history of sports created a series of instructional baseball videos that would forever change the way we think about the game. What it smells like:Pinaud Clubman is pretty potent stuff. Its not bad, just different from the typical male fragrances on the list. View cart for details. After she's done with her rant, she changes her tune and explains why he really needs Gebco insurancenot to be confused with GEICO. Williams Shaving Cream and Aqua Velva ad, ca. From that moment on, the spot goes from cheesy to awful. But one area in which we are different is when it comes to television. Good to have in your collection. The lady at the checkout lane gave me a funny look and noted that shes never seen a guy my age buying the stuff in my basket. Heres the TV commercial showing the effects of Hai Karate on a mans unsuspecting girlfriend: While Hai Karate faded from the fragrance scene in the 80s, its legacy lives on today in Axe body spray. I got some in my stocking for Christmas when I was in 6th grade. It appears to be a Patron Tequila bottle (or very similar to it). Jeremiah Wadsworth, foremost in every enterprise, Reel Lawn Mower Patent Today in History: January 28, Armstrong Finds a Niche in the Tire Market, The Inventive Minds of Connecticut Women: Patents in the 19th Century. Below are my thoughts and a bit of history on the six drugstore colognes and aftershaves I tested. He's on a different level when he's in that Philadelphia Phillies uniform. Never forget Billy Ripken belting out the phrase "Oh that is nice" at the end of the spot. On November 17, 1917, the J.B. Williams Company of Glastonbury filed a trademark with the United States Patent and Trademark Office for the Word Mark Aqua Velva. The application stated the name was to be applied to a line of face lotions and after shave preparations that had been sold commercially for the first time in October of that year. The only way to truly get a feel for it is by sitting back and pressing play. It wasnt until 1935 that Aqua Velva started getting pitched exclusively as an aftershave. With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, weve decided to republish a classic piece each Friday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. {"modules":["unloadOptimization","bandwidthDetection"],"unloadOptimization":{"browsers":{"Firefox":true,"Chrome":true}},"bandwidthDetection":{"url":"https://ir.ebaystatic.com/cr/v/c1/thirtysevens.jpg","maxViews":4,"imgSize":37,"expiry":300000,"timeout":250}}, Add to cart to save with this special offer. You can pick and choose many words in the English language that you could use to properly describe this Wheaties commercial. Youre buying this because these guys have been making aftershave since 1917, and they know a thing or two. They can be outrageous and still strike a chord with consumers. For more information please read our, theres something about an Aqua Velva man. Photograph - Sales Car, J.B. Williams Company, ca. Daryl Dawkins singing the jingle, the random dropping of a strawberry into a dry bowl of Wheaties, all of it is utter rubbish. Which is why its surprising no one has attempted to create (or, okay, market) a product that tackles these five big problem spots for men before now. Rose's endorsement deals ran wild during his playing career. We only recommend products we genuinely like, and purchases made through our links support our mission and the free content we publish here on AoM. His "teammates" are amazed by this feat and ask him how he's always so energized. Everything in this video is wretched. As it fades, it leave a pleasant musk and cedarwood scent. Even the Lone Ranger and Tonto wore Aqua Velva. What a deal! After a century of making cowboy hats, the Stetson Company decided to get into the mens fragrance business in 1981 with a cologne for men. Podcast #242: The Forgotten Virtue of Reverence, The Ultimate Guide to Oldtime Strongman Fitness: 26 Forgotten Exercises Every Man Should Try, Podcast #269: The Forgotten History of Autism, Podcast #408: The Incredible Forgotten Story of WWII's Ed Dyess. Another thing we like: The formula can double as a moisturizer for your whole body, meaning one less tube to pack when youre on the road this summer. In this spot, 1950s cartoon guy learns what happens to guys who dont wear Aqua Velva: Aqua Velva was responsible for Pete Roses all-time MLB record for hits. Aqua Velva got its start in 1929, not as an aftershave, but as a mouthwash for men. If youre looking to invigorate your freshly shaved face or want to dab on a bit of scent every day without breaking the bank, they make for agreeable alternatives to expensive fragrances. The Sometimes, Always, Never Three-Button Rule, A Chill Dude Style Staple: The Classic Camp Collar Shirt, A Mans Guide to Fragrance: How to Choose and Wear Cologne, How to Pick the Perfect Mens Wedding Ring, How to Grow a Beard: The One and True Guide, Your No-Nonsense Guide to Choosing the Right Beard Style, Beard Oil FAQs: Answering All Your Pressing Beardly Questions, Beard Grooming 101: The Lowdown on Products and Routine, How to Recognize a Quality Tie in 60 Seconds, Podcast #678: Physical Benchmarks Every Man Should Meet, At Every Age, How to Use Lifting Straps to Level Up Your Strength Training, How to Recognize and Treat Heat Stroke and Heat Exhaustion, The Insanely Difficult Standards of Historys Hardest P.E. For the sake of brevity, let's go with wretched. If it werent, Wayne Gretzky wouldn't do it on TV. If I were a bettin man, Id even wager that the manly, charming scent of Old Spice played some kind of role in your eventual birth. Rather, this is a brand new skin balm from the company that claims to have invented Americas first multi-approach aftershave, a skin-soothing treatment that tackles mens most common skin complaints while providing a rich layer of moisturizer that keeps skin healthy all day long. And as the gift idea for those who didnt know what else to get the man in their lives (Stetson makes it easy, for youuuu!). We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. Youll find hints of orange, lemon, jasmine, and lavender with a warm musk background in this manlyconcoction. Jonathan Ogden may have been 6'9" and weighed 345 pounds, but it's tough to imagine hitting him with your car wouldn't inflict a profusion of damage on the former Baltimore Ravens big man. Aqua Velvas biggest selling point has always been the cooling menthol that soothes away razor burn. They can range anywhere from diet and exercise all the way up to our jobs and even how we express our feelings. James Baker Williams, founder of the J.B. Williams Company, established a factory in Glastonbury in 1847 based on the success of one of his earlier products, Williams Genuine Yankee Soap. This slideshow is all about the faulty decisions professional athletes make over the course of their TV careers. Most of the marketing for English Leather featured an attractive woman telling male viewers or readers that, All her men wear English Leather. Translation: If you want hot babes, slap on some English Leather, by golly. Since 1810, Pinaud Clubman has been making the world smell manlier with their wide range of grooming products. Heres Joe telling us how men who go all the way wear Brut: What it smells like: People either love or hate Brut. Its tagline is The Essence of Man. Athletes have typically been the spokesmen for the brand. But perhaps none were more bizarre than deal he struck with Kool-Aid. Aqua Velva is still produced today, though no longer by the J.B. Williams Company. Mens Journal has affiliate partnerships so we may receive compensation for some links to products and services. Usually, beer commercials are always on the money. But one day, I decided that instead of relying on my fallacious reasoning to judge the quality of these forgotten drugstore colognes and aftershaves, I would bust out some good old-fashioned empiricism. Average Price: $10 for 3.5 oz. Nice and fresh. A quick search of Google's records reveals that Keith is now a scout for the Boston Bruins. The total on myreceiptfor the six different products was $41. Sign up for our newsletter to get the latest adventures, workouts, destinations, and more. Out of everyone who graced us with their presence, Portis' scenes go above and beyond. 1929. One final note that's of the utmost importance: Post-Cincinnati Reds Rose is the best kind of Rose. It's a real challenge to describe the dangerous levels of absurdity that go on in this thing. The Art of Manliness participates in affiliate marketing programs, which means we get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links. The famed New Orleans Saints quarterback rushes into a meeting room that looks like a converted high school science lab and begins to spew football knowledge, all while randomly running a treadmill. At least, thats what I told my 12-year-old self. Make your own! ). The scent combines dashes of sandalwood, oakmoss, lavender, and jasmine. Sitting in their respective rides, each athlete vibes along to abanal song. Channeling a '90s version of Larry Bird, a couple of fellas are hanging out a bar watching their favorite basketball team take a beating. This was my second favorite scent out of all that I tried. We all have regrets in life. Theres no organic, farm-grown, sustainably harvested anything in this bottle. Starts off with a citrusy smell that slowly fades to a woodsy, leathery scent. After a week of testing these colognes and aftershaves, Im happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised by my findings. He truly was the real MVP. The gag centers on a lady smashing her aqua-green ride into an unfazed Ogden and blaming him for her car being totaled. If you Buy It Now, you'll only be purchasing this item. Among them youll find fragrances that once sat in Grandpas bathroom English Leather, Old Spice, Aqua Velva but are now overlooked or snickered at by the younger generation. Had you been one of the early soldiers to venture out on the front lines of YouTube, you would have seen this wild commercial from Eastern Motors staring Ray Lewis, Clinton Portis, LaVar Arrington and Brendan Haywood. What it smells like: Aqua Velva leaves a nice, clean, masculine smell thats heavy on the menthol, but also includes hints of vanilla, lavender, and oakmoss. Walk into any traditional barbershop and youll likely find Pinaud Clubman aftershave sitting on the shelves; its part of what gives classic barbershops their distinctive scent. Take a moment to bask in all of its terrible glory, because without further delay, here are the most regrettable commercials in sports history. Its kind of an aggressive scent. Youll find overpowering notes of sage and cinnamon when you apply it. Example: What it smells like:Its a pretty simple fragrance. The only Gretzky outside of Wayne most people know is his daughter, Paulina. Hai Karate is no longer produced, but because it was perhaps one of the most famous bargain fragrances to come out of the 60s and 70s, I had to put it on the list. Being one of the best guards means that you get lots of endorsements. University of Connecticut Libraries, Archives & Special Collections at the Thomas J. Dodd Research Center. Please, press play and watch Rose explain why his teammates can't stand players who rock a gray mop in what I imagine to be a wood-paneled clubhouse. Rose endorses covering yourself in Aqua Velva, which sends off an odor strong enough to take down a sloth of brown bears frolicking in the wilderness. If youre really itching to try some Hai Karate, you can buy it on eBay. Learn more about the programs of CT Humanities! A Guide to the J. Leave feedback about your eBay ViewItem experience, 1948 Aqua Velva Ad Lucius Beebe Columnist 1948 Demuth Briar Root Pipes Ad, - Top Rated Plus - opens in a new window or tab, - eBay Money Back Guarantee - opens in a new window or tab, cleared payment - opens in a new window or tab, - for PayPal Credit, opens in a new window or tab, Learn more about earning points with eBay Mastercard, - eBay Return policy - opens in a new tab or window, - eBay Money Back Guarantee - opens in a new tab or window. Aqua Velva has survived 95 years of shifting consumer tastes, as illustrated by the many changes to its marketing slogans. Still, it's hard to argue with the results. Both Ripken brothers teach you the game and present it to us with the unwavering charm of an infomercial. Seeing this Keith character put in work next to his big brother was mind-rattling. It has all of the ingredients for a hot plate of disaster: Corny acting, a terrible little kid cameo and a VHS-quality camera. I headed over to my nearest drugstore and filled up my handbasket with every single cologne and fragrance they offered. Its not something you leave out on your bathroom counter to impress a hot date. Just like its 1970s predecessor, Axe assaults ones nasal cavities (at least when over-applied by zealous middle schoolers), yet remains popular because of clever marketing that usually features women attacking some dude whos sprayed himself with magically instant sex appeal. Brett January 29, 2021 Last updated: January 11, 2022. At least Wheaties got it together and produced quality work after this dark period. English Leather gift boxes were a popular holiday gift for years. Many believe that todays Old Spice cologne isnt the same as the original. And of course, because theres something about an Aqua Velva man.